All the dude wanted was his rug back.
Hey hey, a riddle for ya'll:
A natural state, I'm sought by all. Go without me, and you shall fall. You do me when you spend, and use me when you eat to no end. What am I?
Now that I got ya thinking, let me dumb it down with some hockey commentary. Roll clip!
Friday
- 4:00 PM PT - Alain Vigneault's So Very Limp & So Very Blue Clownhorns visit Sidney's Magic Carpet Emporium. It wasn't long ago I was hoping for a Flyer's G7 victory so AV would have to stroll out to the media and explain how that roster couldn't get out of the early stages. That same desire remains, though now it's been replaced with explaining their PP, their face-offs, Ricky Nash, St. Louis, McDonagh and, of course, the big bad schedule, to which there are still plenty of people clinging to that excuse.
- 6:30 PM PT - Zach and Nino Make a Porno entertain Joel Quenneville's 101 course on crotch grabbing for people with low self esteem. Matt Cookereturns. The asshole factor has tilted decidedly in Minnesota's favor. Your move Indian face.
Saturday
- 4:00 PM PT - Subban's stick flex visits the city that will never have a museum of tolerance. Well this is turning out to be the gem of the second round. Hate, hockey and OT. (*wets finger, raises it aloft*) Why yes, it must be May. That said, let's not putz around here Montreal. You know what needs to be done.
- 6:30 PM PT - Teemu's throbbing Selanne hitchhike up on to the "why are they holding that severed shark's head?" aristocrats. Quick is much more entertaining drunk than when after he loses. That's OK though, surely the Kings won't let the Ducks waddle back into a series in which they had a commanding lead in, right? That doesn't happen to California teams usually.
Sunday
- If Necessary - Alain Vigneault's Limp Blue Clownhorns visit Sidney's Magic Carpet Emporium. "Necessary" is such an ugly word. Besides we should think green here. Is it really necessary to play an extra game - waste all of that electricity, water and invite increased carbon footprinting - on a team that's basically waiting to be pushed off a cliff into the raging seas of mediocrity that swells beneath them? Of course not. Don't kill a polar bear just to live another day Rags.
- TBD - Zach and Nino Make a Porno head out to visit Joel Quenneville's 101 course on crotch grabbing for people with low self esteem. The only reason this game is TBD is we'll be waiting on the league's next YouTube suspension video for someone. I won't use any names but it rhymes with "book" (ain't I clever?).
Enjoy your weekend folks. To help get it off on the right foot, here's Drew Doughty going ass over kettle into the Ducks bench. If you can't raise a glass to that, I'm not inviting you to my parties anymore.
